Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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