porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I need to stop coming to work sober
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
