I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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