Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Ketchup is God's man juice
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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