Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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