it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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