You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
