Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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