I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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