do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
