Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
