Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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