Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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