I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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