a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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