I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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