so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
