Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
