Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
