I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
