Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
