I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
