Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
