How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
