I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
