Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
