something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
