I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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