I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Say something about gay babies.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
