i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Randomize
