Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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