So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
