heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
