just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
