Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just want to make out with him forever
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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