the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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