I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
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