Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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