So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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