there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
