Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
