I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
