bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
