He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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