and my herpes radar will keep us safe
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
