You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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