Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
