Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
