I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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