HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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