oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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