I skipped work to stalk him.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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