I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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