$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
