Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
