I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
