I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize